Satire Essay

For my satirical essay i was going to write about how altitude enhances human intelligence. Ill start off with stories about going up the gondola to high elevations and tourists start to ask there intelligent questions about " at what elevation do deer turn into elk?" and "Where do you store the moguls in the summer?" are just a few of the many stories that show how elevation makes you intelligent. Another example i was going to use is during science class people asking if you can really light water on fire, if banana's have calcium because they are white. All of these things prove that you are more intelligent in higher elevation. Studies have found that the higher in elevation you are the less air there is. This means that there isn't a lot of air resistance for those intelligent thoughts to go from your brain to your mouth! Your body functions better with less oxygen! If anyone has anymore stories about how this is true, post them!

Face to Face/Social Networking

I am thinking about doing my satire paper on face to face communication or social networking. I am not quite sure where to start. Any ideas? I may do a Facebook wall type of thing. I definitely am going to satirize how important people think their pages are and how committed they are to get "followers." I think it is funny when people thank their followers for liking their photo. Is it really that big of a confidence booster? Social networking has taken over our lives and it completely distracts us from reality. On Instagram, you want your picture to be on the "Popular Page." If it isn't, you might think you aren't attractive enough or have bad editing skills. I am probably going to format a satirical Facebook page and hopefully I can figure out how to do that.

Every generation has its own fad. We grew up in the Cool 90s and now what are we in? The Reality Show 2000s? Our lives are surrounded by the influence of the mass media. Not the news, but Jersey Shore, Kendra, the Kardashians, and every other reality show. What we wear, what we say, who we like and even what we want to smell like all comes from these so called role models. More people know about Kim Kardashians three episode fiance/husband or Justin Bieber's maybe baby mama than about the European debt crisis or the GOP candidates. Our generation needs to be more aware about what is actually happening in the world that could effect their lives than about their future husband Justin Bieber, who they will probably never meet.

Roger writing about football?

So I was thinking for a good satirical piece I could write about another college coach getting into a recruiting violation... The coach sends an email to a future recruit but accidentally includes the NCAA commisioner. In the Email they express how they will have the pillow stuffed with money, something along those lines. Another thing Mr. Lavender suggested was a satircal halftime coaches speech. Maybe a culmination of all the greatest speeches with just a few twists. Then possibly go on to use alot of jokes that you would have to know football in order to get the joke. Example: Billy our trusted quarterback of the last couple years, yes you've thrown 7 interceptions but it obviously isn't your fault. The Line has been unable to fend off the deffensive pressure. Something dumb like that. The first one would obviously be in email form, much like the satirical piece we read in class. And the second one would be in just a speach that was logged and writen down on paper.

Racism Solution

I believe that a good solution to racism in modern society is to paint yourself a random color every week. Therefore there is no more racism as everyone is an ever changing color, and no grudges can be kept for a long period of time. I can't think of a good way to write this effectively. I was thinking maybe a federal letter establishing color parlors, and telling of laws established to make everyone visit a parlor once a week at the same time. Wont go into detail about the color parlors.

Or maybe a newspaper article about this plan and its en-action in the future, using a scientist to back some claims up. Other ideas would be much appreciated.

Racism Solution

I believe that a good solution to racism in modern society is to paint yourself a random color every week. Therefore there is no more racism as everyone is an ever changing color, and no grudges can be kept for a long period of time. I can't think of a good way to write this effectively. I was thinking maybe a federal letter establishing color parlors, and telling of laws established to make everyone visit a parlor once a week at the same time. Wont go into detail about the color parlors.

Or maybe a newspaper article about this plan and its en-action in the future, using a scientist to back some claims up. Other ideas would be much appreciated.

Hardcore Gamers

I'm going to be satirizing how serious people take video games, which I will do by writing a dialogue between several computer game addicts that supposedly takes place within the confines of the game's chat log. I'll comment on the hardcore attitude some people take on video games and how pointless it is to take them quite that seriously. The way that some people religiously play games such as Call of Duty and World of Warcraft will be my main focus, the 72 hour gaming sessions without sleep and the energy drink binge drinking, not casual video game playing or the video games themselves. What do you guys think is the most ridiculous thing hardcore gamers do?