High Fashion

I have already written my blog.  In it, I dissected the flaws of high fashion.  The "author" of this "newspaper" is trying to convince their audience that high fashion is practical and affordable, when all of the sudden they find themselves completely off track and listing accidents caused by high fashion and the people involved.  I want it to convince people that they are wasting their money on something they could otherwise get for a reasonable price.  And that, in addition, high fashion can just be dangerous.  Just look at the shoes when you go into a high end department store!  They are freaking insane.  One can only imagine all the problems that would be caused by those suckers: feet problems, leg problems, back problems.  I know, myself, how painful high heels are and try to subject myself to the pain as rarely as possible.  After taking high heels off after wearing them for an hour of two, your feet ache, you feel crippled, you want to lie down and have someone treat you to a foot massage.  But I must say, they are cute, and maybe that's the problem.  We're a society that's so obsessed with having expensive, designer crap, and I can blame myself along with everyone else.  I love high fashion and when I was writing this satire I was having fun making a joke of myself right along with all the other women who agree with me. 

Deep down, we know high fashion is a waste of money and that all those designer shoes are just an accident waiting to happen and I wanted to bring that idea forth and elaborate on our socities' obsession.  So here's a sneak peek: The other day, a designer by the name of Sergio Ashburn, released his much anticipated clothing line: Waterscape.  Women flocked to his new store in New York.  In fact, this clothing release was so popular that out of these 500 select housewives who were invited to the store’s opening, 15 were reported to have sustained minor injuries in the rush to get through the door.  Authorities say these injuries were caused by, “fake nails, porcelain veneers, and the use of force to rip fake eyelashes off of sensitive eye tissue leading to possible scars and loss of collagen in the area.” 

Satire Idea

OK so i'm now satirizing the 1% vs 99% issue thats been going on lately with Occupy Wall Street. I'm doing it in the format of a news article, so here a headline for you:

RICH 1% OF POPULATION FLEE TO ELABORATE FALLOUT SHELTERS TO AVOID IMPENDING DESTRUCTION OF EARTH. REST OF HUMANITY LEFT TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES.

Satire

For my satire I am going to write a hip-hop song on mainstream rappers. I never liked how mainstream rappers portray themselves in songs. I think real hip-hop artists are those that don't write songs just to gain publicity or fame, but rather because it's what they like to do. Cheesy rappers like Woka Flocka Flame are destroying hip-hop and need to be stopped!

Satire Essay

For my satirical essay i was going to write about how altitude enhances human intelligence. Ill start off with stories about going up the gondola to high elevations and tourists start to ask there intelligent questions about " at what elevation do deer turn into elk?" and "Where do you store the moguls in the summer?" are just a few of the many stories that show how elevation makes you intelligent. Another example i was going to use is during science class people asking if you can really light water on fire, if banana's have calcium because they are white. All of these things prove that you are more intelligent in higher elevation. Studies have found that the higher in elevation you are the less air there is. This means that there isn't a lot of air resistance for those intelligent thoughts to go from your brain to your mouth! Your body functions better with less oxygen! If anyone has anymore stories about how this is true, post them!

Face to Face/Social Networking

I am thinking about doing my satire paper on face to face communication or social networking. I am not quite sure where to start. Any ideas? I may do a Facebook wall type of thing. I definitely am going to satirize how important people think their pages are and how committed they are to get "followers." I think it is funny when people thank their followers for liking their photo. Is it really that big of a confidence booster? Social networking has taken over our lives and it completely distracts us from reality. On Instagram, you want your picture to be on the "Popular Page." If it isn't, you might think you aren't attractive enough or have bad editing skills. I am probably going to format a satirical Facebook page and hopefully I can figure out how to do that.

Every generation has its own fad. We grew up in the Cool 90s and now what are we in? The Reality Show 2000s? Our lives are surrounded by the influence of the mass media. Not the news, but Jersey Shore, Kendra, the Kardashians, and every other reality show. What we wear, what we say, who we like and even what we want to smell like all comes from these so called role models. More people know about Kim Kardashians three episode fiance/husband or Justin Bieber's maybe baby mama than about the European debt crisis or the GOP candidates. Our generation needs to be more aware about what is actually happening in the world that could effect their lives than about their future husband Justin Bieber, who they will probably never meet.

Roger writing about football?

So I was thinking for a good satirical piece I could write about another college coach getting into a recruiting violation... The coach sends an email to a future recruit but accidentally includes the NCAA commisioner. In the Email they express how they will have the pillow stuffed with money, something along those lines. Another thing Mr. Lavender suggested was a satircal halftime coaches speech. Maybe a culmination of all the greatest speeches with just a few twists. Then possibly go on to use alot of jokes that you would have to know football in order to get the joke. Example: Billy our trusted quarterback of the last couple years, yes you've thrown 7 interceptions but it obviously isn't your fault. The Line has been unable to fend off the deffensive pressure. Something dumb like that. The first one would obviously be in email form, much like the satirical piece we read in class. And the second one would be in just a speach that was logged and writen down on paper.