Satire Idearrr

I will be satirizing facebook. To do this, I will either make a fake facebook page with pictures of people in front of mirrors (trying to look as good as they can) and statuses that have been updated way too many times in a day with words like "your" used incorrectly, or I will write about a typical facebook visit- one that was intended to last only a few minutes, but ends up being two hours because you needed a new profile picture, and needed to respond to every single notification, and have an hour and a half chat session consisting of 4 worded sentences at most with a person you barely know but added them on facebook and you want to get to know them better. It will comment on the lack of confidence people have and are afraid to have ugly pictures of themselves on their profiles, how people just resort to technology for communication these days, and how lazy people have become with spelling and grammar. A little shaky right now, but hopefully it works out.

my wonderful idea

This is what similar to what I am going to do except with the Broncos and the Steelers. Its a "Key to the Game" thing from ESPN. And I'm going to rip on Tebow and the Steelers QB who apparently rapped someone. Any other ideas of teams to do?

Medical Marijuana

For my satirical paper, I am going to comment on the whole Medical Marijuana industry. I am going to write in the format of a blog. Specifically, the blog will belong to the local dispensary Alpine Dank. Each entry on the blog will be from a different character, similar to our AP Language blog. I have already written a few satirical posts, which I will briefly describe, but I am open to many more suggestions.
The first is from a parent, but this parent is completely for her child’s use of medical marijuana. Her son sprained his ankle in a soccer game and because of his frequent use of marijuana, he has not gotten off the couch. Therefore, the mother is praising Alpine Dank for helping her son’s ankle heal. Another post is from a student who is completely in love with marijuana induced candies. He talks about sucking on the candies during class and offering them to his peers who are not aware of their potency. That comments on the ridiculousness of some teenagers’ obsession with pot and the industry’s cleverness to invent new ways to get high. The third entry I wrote concerns a teen girl. She is extremely active, plays many sports, gets perfect grades, and always does everything on time. But her one problem is that she cannot sleep. So, a friend suggests medical marijuana to cure her insomnia and the girl goes for it. Within a few weeks, the girl could not be more satisfied; it has cured her problem. Except now, all the girl does is sleep and sleep and sleep and is no longer the active and timely person she used to be, but she does not care about any of that anymore. The last post is about a super skinny girl who has been raising concerns due to her eating habits. Both her friends and her mother are in on a plot to help the skinny girl gain weight, but they do not want to offend her. So, the mother starts buying pot infused butter, soda, and other foods which the girl will consume without knowing. The weed in her system will make her hungry and therefore eat more without being overly aware.
So basically I’m just trying to talk about the absurdity of the loose restrictions for medical marijuana through the eyes of patients. If you guys have any comments or suggestions on the four posts I’ve already written I’d love to hear them and maybe add more. Also if you have any new subjects that you think would be funny don’t be afraid to say so.

High Fashion

I have already written my blog.  In it, I dissected the flaws of high fashion.  The "author" of this "newspaper" is trying to convince their audience that high fashion is practical and affordable, when all of the sudden they find themselves completely off track and listing accidents caused by high fashion and the people involved.  I want it to convince people that they are wasting their money on something they could otherwise get for a reasonable price.  And that, in addition, high fashion can just be dangerous.  Just look at the shoes when you go into a high end department store!  They are freaking insane.  One can only imagine all the problems that would be caused by those suckers: feet problems, leg problems, back problems.  I know, myself, how painful high heels are and try to subject myself to the pain as rarely as possible.  After taking high heels off after wearing them for an hour of two, your feet ache, you feel crippled, you want to lie down and have someone treat you to a foot massage.  But I must say, they are cute, and maybe that's the problem.  We're a society that's so obsessed with having expensive, designer crap, and I can blame myself along with everyone else.  I love high fashion and when I was writing this satire I was having fun making a joke of myself right along with all the other women who agree with me. 

Deep down, we know high fashion is a waste of money and that all those designer shoes are just an accident waiting to happen and I wanted to bring that idea forth and elaborate on our socities' obsession.  So here's a sneak peek: The other day, a designer by the name of Sergio Ashburn, released his much anticipated clothing line: Waterscape.  Women flocked to his new store in New York.  In fact, this clothing release was so popular that out of these 500 select housewives who were invited to the store’s opening, 15 were reported to have sustained minor injuries in the rush to get through the door.  Authorities say these injuries were caused by, “fake nails, porcelain veneers, and the use of force to rip fake eyelashes off of sensitive eye tissue leading to possible scars and loss of collagen in the area.” 

Satire Idea

OK so i'm now satirizing the 1% vs 99% issue thats been going on lately with Occupy Wall Street. I'm doing it in the format of a news article, so here a headline for you:

RICH 1% OF POPULATION FLEE TO ELABORATE FALLOUT SHELTERS TO AVOID IMPENDING DESTRUCTION OF EARTH. REST OF HUMANITY LEFT TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES.

Satire

For my satire I am going to write a hip-hop song on mainstream rappers. I never liked how mainstream rappers portray themselves in songs. I think real hip-hop artists are those that don't write songs just to gain publicity or fame, but rather because it's what they like to do. Cheesy rappers like Woka Flocka Flame are destroying hip-hop and need to be stopped!

Satire Essay

For my satirical essay i was going to write about how altitude enhances human intelligence. Ill start off with stories about going up the gondola to high elevations and tourists start to ask there intelligent questions about " at what elevation do deer turn into elk?" and "Where do you store the moguls in the summer?" are just a few of the many stories that show how elevation makes you intelligent. Another example i was going to use is during science class people asking if you can really light water on fire, if banana's have calcium because they are white. All of these things prove that you are more intelligent in higher elevation. Studies have found that the higher in elevation you are the less air there is. This means that there isn't a lot of air resistance for those intelligent thoughts to go from your brain to your mouth! Your body functions better with less oxygen! If anyone has anymore stories about how this is true, post them!