Before I begin, I would like to start off by saying this blog is not directed to anyone specifically in our class and do not take offense.
I strongly believe that, while many gender issues have been mended over time, one has grown exponentially out of control. This issue is that of dating protocols. In the 20th century, when men or boys wanted to ask a girl out, they were kind, respectful. Their methods were that of courting a woman, winning her affection and then holding on to it long enough to sweetly ask her out. It almost seemed that of a competition, one where guys would see how much they could shower their women with love and kindness, how long they could wait for her to be comfortable enough to kiss them.
Dating rituals of our modern day are extremely shameful to those of the past. I would like to explain the dating rituals of today to show you how they undermine the woman and put extreme power in the hand of the male. The protocols of today start with number one: making out with a girl without asking her permission and/or dating her to begin with. This first step most always consists of more than a demure peck that a father would surely approve of, but rather a sex-thirsty, tongue-filled, tonsil-hockey game to see how far the man can push the woman. I’ll now kindly give you males that benefit of the doubt by saying sometimes number one is initiated by the woman herself, but mostly it is initiated by her male counterpart, that of someone who knows he is in control of her every move.
Number two of this new protocol usually consists of some internet action. Maybe the male will change his facebook relationship status to: “In a Relationship” or “It’s complicated”. Chances are, after this, he’ll look at his lady’s profile and add a couple of comments on her pictures that will consist of something close to, “Damn, your ( usually with the wrongly used your/you’re, by the way) hot” or (excuse my language) “Look at that rack!” This will probably cheer up the girl for the time being, but let me tell you something, a girl is more than what’s just on her outside, and although we like compliments on how we look, I am sure many girls would agree with me when I say we prefer beautiful, gorgeous, and pretty as opposed to “hot” which just makes us sound like a sex symbol.
Number three is a step in which I will briefly explain with two words: home-run. You all, I am sure know that means and it needs no further explanation.
Although some select few couples do not use this protocol, I believe many do, and after number three, many of the couple which use the above protocol will end up apart. Why is this you ask? Well, let me tell you, because the boy got what he wanted, and because he knows he can do the same thing to other women, he moves straight on. The woman is then disposed of, left used, abused, and feeling like a piece of road kill in the middle of a highway that no one bothers to pick up.
There you have it, women are seen as objects to conquer and then move on from these days, as is shown by our modern rules of dating. Ladies, do not feel ashamed by this essay, you will, one day, find someone who has finally figured themselves out and wants to have a real relationship, but for now, I advise you to stop massaging men’s filthy egos and to quit feeding this sick cycle. And for men who are not egotistical and sex-hungry, I am sorry if I have insulted you. Way to be a good guy and treat a lady right, you deserve the very best.
The end.
this is awesome Shelby. This is so beyond true and it's the way basically everyone acts. Like seriously, this is so good. I like the Facebook your/you're thing...bugs me so much.
ReplyDeleteSOOOOO GOOD! Really funny! And very very true! I love how you broke it all down of what used to happen and then about the present "sex-hungry" guy. You have a lot of really good lines that made me laugh and you definitely got your paint across about the stereotype. Men should be how they used to be! I hope guys read this and learn from you :)
ReplyDeleteI like your take on this situation. It is completely true and I can totally relate. Women are not the ones who have changed, it's the man's job to initiate a good relationship and for some reason their motivation is lacking. I think this is in part because women are no longer the weaker, "cheerleaders" per say, of the males. (That was not a stab at cheerleaders in any way, I just meant that women are more than just supporters of their men). I think they feel intimidated by us and it's rare for them to go out of their way to please a girl like us. I'm hoping college will be different. lol (:
ReplyDeleteShelby.. That was perfect! I would have to agree with you on this and i wish everyone could read this! Its something that we all know but ignore. LOVED IT! :)
ReplyDeleteI most definitely agree with your opinion of women used as sex objects. Almost every add out there has a, by definition, "sexy" women advertising the event or product, no matter what it is. there is an image that women have to live up to to please the typical male image of the "perfect" women which is harming many women. As I too said in my blog, chivalry should never die. It is much appreciated by any women. (or most)
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ReplyDeleteyeah boy's step you're game up. i completely agree, respect for women by both males and females is seriously lacking. it's really bad. Yes girls can be really hot or have nice racks but we have feelings too and we want you to care about them! thanks.
ReplyDeletePerfectly said. Times have changed and women shouldnt put up with it and "stop massaging men’s filthy egos." I love it.
ReplyDeleteI feel like nobody wants me to comment on here, so that's why I'm doing this. Also, don’t think that I am supporting this system you talk about here, but instead only offering a contrary opinion. Here's the deal, not to Shelby as much as to commenters, but from the comments I see something I feel isn't exactly fair. There is entirely too much blame on men in this situation. Sure, behavior might not be very good, but there is only one reason it is able to continue. If it didn't work, then it wouldn't happen, but it does. If, as you say, men are only sex-thirsty beings, then why would men be motivated to change their behavior if the desire is satisfied already? If women are not happy with this ritual you describe, then it is their responsibility to change it. After all, it does require the consent of both parties involved. The way for women to change this is to simply to not accept it. This is something that it is the women’s responsibility to change.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mitchell, you said exactly what I wanted to say. It's not a erosion of values in just males, it's really an erosion of youth behavior as a whole. Also, this is really the way teen relationships are displayed in the media and I'm not entirely sure the majority of relationships happen like this. I may be completely wrong though, I'm far from an expert on the subject. While a strong majority of the relationships today exert far less formality and chivalry, I don't think it's quite as bad as Shelby describes. Just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteToo bad women don't seem to care about "nice guys." Maybe if you didn't stick your nose up at perfectly good 'fellas in favor of the guys who can't spell and make a lot of comments on your rack, this wouldn't happen.
ReplyDeleteWow! Thanks for this very honest and informative post, Shelby. Glad to see it's engendered so much passionate response (and glad, too, that at least some guys of your generation share your displeasure at these modern dating rituals).
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