Medical Marijuana

For my satirical paper, I am going to comment on the whole Medical Marijuana industry. I am going to write in the format of a blog. Specifically, the blog will belong to the local dispensary Alpine Dank. Each entry on the blog will be from a different character, similar to our AP Language blog. I have already written a few satirical posts, which I will briefly describe, but I am open to many more suggestions.
The first is from a parent, but this parent is completely for her child’s use of medical marijuana. Her son sprained his ankle in a soccer game and because of his frequent use of marijuana, he has not gotten off the couch. Therefore, the mother is praising Alpine Dank for helping her son’s ankle heal. Another post is from a student who is completely in love with marijuana induced candies. He talks about sucking on the candies during class and offering them to his peers who are not aware of their potency. That comments on the ridiculousness of some teenagers’ obsession with pot and the industry’s cleverness to invent new ways to get high. The third entry I wrote concerns a teen girl. She is extremely active, plays many sports, gets perfect grades, and always does everything on time. But her one problem is that she cannot sleep. So, a friend suggests medical marijuana to cure her insomnia and the girl goes for it. Within a few weeks, the girl could not be more satisfied; it has cured her problem. Except now, all the girl does is sleep and sleep and sleep and is no longer the active and timely person she used to be, but she does not care about any of that anymore. The last post is about a super skinny girl who has been raising concerns due to her eating habits. Both her friends and her mother are in on a plot to help the skinny girl gain weight, but they do not want to offend her. So, the mother starts buying pot infused butter, soda, and other foods which the girl will consume without knowing. The weed in her system will make her hungry and therefore eat more without being overly aware.
So basically I’m just trying to talk about the absurdity of the loose restrictions for medical marijuana through the eyes of patients. If you guys have any comments or suggestions on the four posts I’ve already written I’d love to hear them and maybe add more. Also if you have any new subjects that you think would be funny don’t be afraid to say so.