Milk

My topic is the wonderful and disgusting milk. First I will talk about how mothers are not breast feeding anymore and just using formula or regular milk. That is just absurd!! Breast milk is wear babes get all there nutrients and things needed for devolving correctly, and mothers are TAKING IT AWAY! They are taking away the necessities of life!!! Next I am going to talk about milk that people drink from cows. I am one of the many people that hate drinking straight milk. We get our milk from cows who give it to their babies to get fat!! Yet we drink it, and people complain about being fat. Not only that but the things that people do to the milk and the cows are just unheard of. i am going to list all these facts and things that will make all the classmates stomachs turn. Like saying that most of the milk we drink has cow blood in it etc. Lastly, I am going to talk about the solutions and what people are doing instead of drinking bad milk.

BCS debate topic

The BCS (Bowl Championship Series) is basically how in college football they find the two "best" teams to square off in the National Championship. I will be trying to persuade you that this is an archaeic system that needs to be out lawed! I am going to talk about the multiple law suits against the BCS, and ultimately persuade you to my liking.

Home Economics in schools

My persuasive speak is going to be about how schools should require students to take some kind of home economics class to graduate. Home economics teaches students to do the basic things in life, like cooking, sewing and teaching them how to do basic everyday things. A lot of students don't even know how to do the basic everyday things so having a home economic class could teach them what to do when they are out on there own.

Other schools originally taught students these skills in a classroom, but over time they handed off this large responsibility to our parents, many of which failed to pass along their knowledge to us as the students. Some parents have never even been formally taught the basic skills needed in order to be successful, such as managing their bank account or doing their taxes correctly. Schools need to make it a priority that their students are prepared for all aspects of life on their own.

Basiclly my persuasive essay is about how it should be mandatory that students take a Home Economics class before they graduate high school.

Drugs

I was going to write about should not legalize drugs. Lavender and I talked about how I might write in support of animal research, but I think that I could write a better argument about drugs. I would mention things like how the FDA is super important in protecting people, and that if we legalize drugs, we basically undermine their existence. If we legalize drugs, large corporations will take them over, and start selling these products that don’t do anything but kill people. We are a society that really protects consumer protection, and legalizing drugs would basically be saying ‘screw you’ to protection. If we legalize drugs, then we can’t say that a company cannot release a bad drug that claims to, say, cure cancer, but while it does that, it turns your brain into mush. While I am not a big believer in all sorts of regulations, I there is something wrong with making it legal to sell a product that kills everybody. There is a lot of value in having a free society, but we cannot allow people to make a profit off of a product that kills everybody. While the United States is a society that favors giving freedom to businesses, we are also not one that favors letting them kill people. While deregulation in general is a good thing, we have to draw the line somewhere, and allowing companies to put out products that do nothing but kill the consumer is where we must draw that line.

Television's negative impact on society

I am thinking of writing a speech addressing the positive impacts of a television free household and the negative impacts television plays in the lives of many children. My evidence includes everything from over-stimulation (where kids are being fed a constant stream of images, and that soon becomes the norm, thereby affecting the child's perception of reality where not everything is given or presented to you, but a reality where one has to go out and get things for themselves.) to the fact that television destroys relationship skills and that it caused the loss the ability have a conversation. It creates a sedentary viewer and lifestyle (we want to lower obesity rates? then get rid of the TV.), it uses up much of our free time, therefore affecting grades, sports, family activities, etc. Television also exposes children to a large array of information and subjects that many may not consider appropriate for young viewers. Overall, I will argue that television is ruining family relations as well as the lives of our nation's youth.

This one's from Sonja!

Should we ban keeping animals in circuses? Yes. Dressing animals up, training them to do things against their will, usually with violence is cruel and should be illegal. Forcing animals to entertain us under poor living circumstances and bad treatment is unethical. Zoo's on the other hand are humane and actually save a lot of endangered species by securing them with safe and similar habitats to their natural ones and advanced medical treatment to those saved from the wild. Also a chance to research animals for science and become familiar to the creatures inhabiting our world. That is a way for city families to experience animals as they naturally are, not with make up and clothes forced onto them, parading around a circus ring probably frightened to their wits end. According to PETA.org, "Circus people force animals to perform these meaningless and physically uncomfortable tricks, trainers use whips, tight collars, muzzles, electric prods, bull-hooks, and other painful tools of the trade." I think it's good that people are starting to recognize this and I also think its our moral duty to ban circuses from being able to use animals in their performances, thankfully "because of concerns about animal mistreatment and public safety, a growing number of communities are banning or restricting the use of animals in circuses." I'm going to argue that a zoo is a good place for humans to research and be around animals from the wild but doing so, saving their lives and enabling them to live long and healthy lives in something designed to be just like their natural habitat. There's a way to be close to these creatures and even entertained in a perfectly humane way.

FIS regulations

I am going to write my persuasive essay/ speech on the FIS ( International Ski Federation) ski regulations. For the season of 2011- 2012 FIS is going to have new ski minimum lengths and radius for all disciplines. I will be arguing against this.

Resolved: Increasing the length and radius of the ski for FIS racing will protect and make the sport safer. 

FIS is making these changes because they think that it will slow done the racers and make the sport safer, but by making these changes it will ruin the sport. because the ski will have a bigger radius and be longer the coaches will set straighter courses which will not decrease the speed. And the racers will have a harder time turning the ski which may result in more crashes.
Top GS racer Ted Ligety is against this notion.

Debatable Topic

I think an interesting thing to right about is our gas prices. Lets stop messing around and raise the gas prices to eight bucks a gallon. Do you know what that would do. It would lower our carbon level in our atmosphere because alot of people would not pay for that. It would also raise a lot of money for the debt we are in. Lets face it, we have to start finding other resources to rely on. We are not fully aware that millions are fighting and dieing for gas and oil. Do you think alternative resources such as solar power, geothermal, wind and hydro would help. We have to start investing our money in alternative ways to produce energy

The King's (Davis') Speech-Driving

I want to bring up the fact that driving is a privilege that comes too easy.  I want to suggest that driving tests need to be more intensive (maybe a test of driving in many different situations), cars need to be no cell phone zones, in that cars need to be installed with transmitters that redirect cell phone signals inside the cabs of vehicles to eliminate all distraction that cell phones provide.  Cars also should have breath-o-lizer ignitions that require a driver to blow before the car can start. If it was a lot harder to obtain a driver's license, then people would be forced to have to make use of public transportation, which in all would also eliminate carbon emissions.  Although our nation has a very poor public transportation system, people who could not obtain licenses would eventually ask local and national representatives to bring about the topic of implementing a more complex and much safer public transportation system that would save hundreds of lives everyday.  I hopefully am going to be able to provide more suggestions to the topic of driving in our country, but for now this is what I have.

God Bless.

Barbies

In lieu of feminists’ and parents’ new obsession with attacking Barbie, I feel that I would like to stick up for Barbie and all of the good things she represents rather than hating on her for a couple minor production flaws. 

Since her creation in 1959, Barbie has long represented a strong, independent woman.  A woman who can go anywhere, do anything, be anything.  She has had more than 80 careers including a President, doctor, paleontologist, and veterinarian.  If you ask me, that is not stupid and those are all very good career paths to take.  Barbie gives girls dreams that they can try to achieve. 

Adults seem to fear Barbie’s influence on their daughters most often because of her body shape.  Thus, we all know that Barbie has a pretty disproportionate body: her feet are super small; her legs are incredibly thin; her waist is teeny tiny; and her chest is extremely large.  But here’s the thing: Barbie is a plastic toy and girls know that they cannot possibly judge themselves off of something that is not real.  Critics say that because Barbies are a popular toy for young girls, it influences their ideas on body image and can lead to eating disorders and self hatred, but there has still been no significant study to prove that Barbie makes girls insecure.  If you talk to someone with an eating disorder, chances are she’ll say she has the disease because of the pressure to be perfect that real supermodels or skinny famous people initiate.  She probably won’t say, “I just hate my body because of Barbie!”  Why should one doll form a complete idea of how we see ourselves?  Girls are constantly bombarded with real images of real people all day everyday that are much more influential than that of a childhood toy.

These are just some of the ways in which I hope to defend Barbie and all that she stands for.  I know she is not a bad role model, but rather a good one: a role model showing that girls can do whatever they put their minds to.

I would love it if someone could provide me with some tips or ideas on how to make this a really awesome speech. Thanks!

Speech idea

I'm still deciding on my topic, but i think i want to do something on how women are sometimes mistreated by men. I could make this serious and talk about how serious it is and how women should be able to do whatever is needed to protect themselves, or turn it into something funny, lavender thought maybe a how to be a good guy. like give 5 or 10 points on how to be a good boyfriend/husband/friend. and just elaborate on each point, but i still need to figure out what the points would be if i did that.

Its always someone elses fault

my topic is always maddie's fault (just someone to blame). Are the answers from maddies lifestyle going to solve all the worlds problems? No, but it fills the void of gilt. Maddie likes to confuse people because her name contains a "t"! That makes it harder for everyone to make sure they use the right name or she gets pissed and no one is happy! And let's talk about global warming. Maddie has a car and is brewing toxic drugs in her basement. It's her fault that Polar bears are running out of ice!

Overall my presentation is going to be satirical, expressing that everyone blames something or someone else for all issues. Rarely will you hear some one say it's their fault fir hitting a cat. " it ran out into the street! It's not my fault!" etc.

Debatable Topic: Expectations Too High for Education

My topic is going to be about the immense pressure and overwhelming work load put on kids at too young of an age. In this modern age, children are expected to perform academically at a higher standard than enjoyably possible. Everyone only gets one life so why would kids want to spend their one and only childhood sitting in a classroom studying most the day for as much as 220 days a year. We were not put on this earth just to spend 1/4 of our only life inside, and feeling miserable. Not only does the amount of time in school overwhelm a child, but the homework load and the height of the bar for expectations is too high that it creates a kid's mind into a stressful, uncomfortable, and self-destroying place. Modern kids are slackers and underachievers because the expectations are too high and they accept  "failure" and have no self-confidence, and this all ends up creating a mentally distraught mind that has actually been destroyed, instead of enhanced, by the almost unreachable goal of success. So kids are expected to do more than their mind is ready for.

Grading System

“Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.” ~Albert Einstein

Just as Albert Einstein said, along with many others in agreement, the grading system should be eliminated and in its place should be a system based on a more personalized level. I think that highschool should help students prepare for the life after high school, whether college is in the future or not. Students should be able to design their curriculum based on interest and talent, not by required courses. High school should be a lot like college. In ninth and tenth grade, General Education courses should be required to obtain a well rounded grasp on all senses of the core classes such as English, Science, Math, History, and a foreign language. After that, students should start looking for their strong suits and start persuing a career or at least expanding on their own raw talents and developing something that they will love. It is unfortunate that grade point averages are dropped signifigantly if you do not do well in a math class because you are not mathematically minded. Students should be rewarded for what they are good at, not told how bad they are at something. Being limited during the college application process because you didnt understand a foreign language or a math or science class are common worries among high school seniors which is why students should elect how their curriculum is run. What are students graded against anyway? Who are we compared to to decide that I get the B and you get the A. People are not the same and we shouldn't be graded or tested based on a standard. In turn, students at the end of high school will have a better grasp on what field of study they want to go into and colleges will be easier to pick from because students already know how to decide where to go based upon what programs the college offers. More points and opinions coming, also more organization:)

The backcountry

I am going to write about ski mountains think they can controle land that isn't even theres. For instance the telluride ski mountain thinks they can make bear creek part of there mountain but they own no part of it and it is all natinal forest. They have no right to say weather i can ski there or not. Ski mountains need to stop being so selfish and deal with what they bought

Practical Skills & Progressive learning in Schools.

Argument: Practical skills such as balancing finances, communication, and progressive thinking should become part of the high school curriculum and a requirement for graduating seniors.

Though behind the claim: Our society is progressive. The high school students are our future, and we need them to be as knowledgeable as possible when they step out into the real world. Over 50% of Harvard graduates will create the jobs they take. We need more people in America to take on this challenge. With all the terrors of global warming, fears of foreign attack, and scarce amount of resources left to sustain our way of living, the next generation needs to be educated differently. While a normal education consisting of History, Math, Science, English, and Art does benefit individuals, it should not be the only subjects that are considered important. We need to teach more languages and stress the importance of world wide communication. Technology is becoming so incredibly advanced and we need to master the tools we have. Also, to solve our future problems, we need to find solutions now. And to do so, we need thinkers and leaders.

Reasons to teach practical skills: School is supposed to prepare you for the future. Honestly, how many jobs are going to rely on your knowledge of the 1812 war or your comprehension of The Scarlet Letter? Finances should definitely be taught in school since too many college graduates spend the next twenty years of their life in serious debt. Once you are independent from parents, students should be able to manage their own money, invest, and balance their checkbooks. Yet with the education we are getting now, there are countless individuals who have no clue how to keep their money in line, pay taxes, and not get taken advantage of by the smarter individuals or companies.

How we would progressively learn: Principle Alex Carter had the right idea when it came to twenty-first century learning. The students need to experience a hands-on education and be immersed in real life scenarios. The ISPs (Intensive Study Programs) were a great example of real world lessons, but they were only stressed four weeks out of the year. I am suggesting we incorporate these skills into at least one if not two periods a day. Currently, the debate class presents a great example of teaching social skills. Learning the key proponents of public speaking, intelligent arguments, and considering opposing positions will help individuals have success in the future with getting their ideas across. Also, life is full of conflicts, and knowing how to debate and win an argument gives people an advantage. Other aspects of progressive learning include: attending to the whole child, community, collaboration, social justice, intrinsic motivation, deep understanding, and active learning.

I am not trying to say “get rid of all the original classes.” I agree that history is important to know in order to refrain from repeating our mistakes and understanding how our country came to be. And for anyone who plans to go into the field of engineering, mathematics is extremely vital. Reading and writing well are both crucial skills to possess.

Arguments against: Academics form the foundation of higher education, and practical skills should be taught outside of school. These would be just another unnecessary class with no beneficial purpose. Progressive learning isn’t individual attention or memorization.

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT I HOPE SOMEONE READS IT AND GIVES SOME OTHER ASPECTS OF MY ARGUMENT FOR/AGAINST. THANKS (:

Speech Topic

So I'm not really sure what I'm gonna do yet. I'm in between the topics of beauty contests are harmful and prostitution should be legalized. I think I could make valid arguments for both topics, but I'm not sure which one will be more persuasive. I think beauty contests in a way are bad, because the women just mess with their image so much, it's not even them anymore. And they are famous and rich for no other reason except people think they are attractive. It is also bad because the contests are becoming more popular for youth. Like there's the show toddlers and tiaras and these five year olds are wearing make up and have their hair dyed. But on the other hand, prostitution is like an individual liberty and no one cares that these strangers are having sex, they only care about the fact that money is being exchanged. But that could be an occupation for some people. So yeah, I'm still debating between these two topics...

How Women Get Out of Sticky situtions.

For my speech, I will be writing about how it seems that women can get out of sticky situations much easier than men, more specifically, the good looking, innocent acting, crying women of society. How is it that they manage to get out of speeding tickets by crying, or a freebee in class for forgetting their homework while I leave my homework at home and get a zero? I feel like i'm pretty cute, and if i ever tried to cry in front of a police officer im sure he would just laugh at me for being a wienie and write me an even bigger ticket; While a women is going 100 miles an hour in a 45 zone, drunk and high on crack, she manages to get let off with a warning because she starts crying and telling the officer of the hard day she has had. Of course this is a little exaggerated, but I think you all know what im talking about. Please, teach us men your ways of getting off the hook... we need it.

Abortion

Big surprise, Nathan's writing about abortion. As most of you know, I've felt passionately about this issue for quite some time, and after the last speech I gave about it during sophomore year, I'm eager to have another go at it. I will discuss why life begins at conception and try and keep "morals" completely out of the speech, as morals are subjective and they have little place in persuasive arguments. I'll also talk about abortion preventatives; such as increased public emphasis on birth control; alternatives, such as adoption; and how a possible middle ground may be found, such as abortion being available to rape victims or if the mother's life is in danger. I'll also discuss how abortion should not be a federally subsidized procedure, as a large number of the tax dollars that pay for abortions come from people who are vehemently opposed to it.

Go ahead and give me suggestions, tell me why I'm wrong, or just start insulting me in the comments section below.

Emy's SPEECH!!!

For my speech I'm thinking about writing about how diets make people fatter, if you want to lose weight you have to change your life style. When you go on diets it gives you less food and the food you eat has less nutrition so then your metabolism slows down. This starves your body. When your body is hungry it feeds off your muscle and leaves the fat making you weaker and fatter. Im going to argue how instead of spending money on the dieting you should spend your time on changing you life style to improve the way you eat and exercise. How does that sound?

Standardized Testing

I will be arguing why standardized tests (SAT/ACT) should not be required for college. Not only do kids not like them, but there are a lot of unfair advantages amongst people which influence their scores. These advantages of course favor mostly white people, those with money and can afford to spend thousands of dollars on test prep, and even men over women. Standardized testing is just a corporation, and it's unbelievable that this corporation dictates how people can or cannot pursue their futures. If people really want to take the test, they should still have that option, but all colleges should be fair test, and people should be able to demonstrate their successes is different ways because every person is different.

War on Terror

I am going to do my persuasive essay on the war in the middle east. I am going to explain not only how many soldiers died, but how many CIVILIANS were killed. Almost 1 million civilians were killed. Also, President Bush did not have the evidence he said he had to start the war. I am using a lot of research and a lot of pathos to hit the reader's emotions.

intro:

For the past eleven years, the United States has been engaged in a dangerous war in the Middle East. Started by President Bush in 2001, the war on terror was started because of claims that the Middle East had weapons of mass destruction. Some may say that the activity in Afghanistan and Iraq have been successful if you consider the murder of Osama Bin Laden, but has justice really been done?

Progressive Drinking

I am writing about how the drinking age should not only be reduced to 16 for beer and wine and then 18 for hard alcohol but for this to work how the driving age should then be 18 so people learn through responsibility.

heres the opening so far....

For years there has been the controversy over having a drinking age that limits underage drinking, binge drinking and to control the affects of drunk driving. There is a solution. Lowering the drinking age, through progressive means is the answer. Young adults should be able to indulge in casual drinking such as wine and beer at age sixteen and then be rewarded, when coming of age, as an adult at eighteen with hard alcohol. The one last thing that would go into this, to control all factors would be to higher the minimum driving age to eighteen. This would not only find a common ground, it would teach individuals to respect drinking because it would no longer be a rebellious act, it would also help teenagers make personal decisions and be more independent. Finally, the safety factor is huge. Instead of having kids drink and then ‘rage’ the streets, or have unsupervised house parties teenagers could then drink at clubs that were age oriented, at home and feel good around their parents, or at dances and concerts where arm bands could mark your age. Not only would kids be in safe environments but this could open up the larger factors of public transportation, especially in big cities so kids would never have to worry about driving, and those who were eighteen and able to drive would have to make responsible decisions, knowing the pressing life and death consequences of drivers under the influence.

How to date a wrestler

I will be writing my satirical paper on how to date a high school wrestler, by listing out the rules and guidelines that will make it happen. This handbook is guaranteed to get you the strong, smart, straight,and handsome high school wrestler you've always dreamed about. Not only will there be guidelines and rules to follow, towards the end there will be a list of coping strategies, so you and your perfect match can lock hearts for more than several seconds...

Satire Idea

I'm going to write a "rap" about artists who rap about pointless things. This is going to be about people who just rap to rap and don't have a reason or purpose behind their lyrics. I'm hoping to expose all artists who do not express themselves or rap to send a message or communicate to their listeners.

Consumer Addiction, Technology obsession

I was thinking about writing on how our generation is obsessed with the latest and greatest technology. I would write my article as a brochure for a museum of technology and from the standpoint of a visitor who has no idea what a house phone is, nor a laptop. Just an idea. any ideas?

Snuggie Infomercial

My satire is going to be about how people get sucked into infomercials and buy the product because they think it is actually something that will work and will make your life better. I am basing my satire mostly on the ridiculous snuggie product. Because it's presented as being not just an article of clothing, but an essential solution that delivers clearly stated and highly desired benefits to whoever buys it.

OCD

I was thinking i would write about OCD and how it really affects certain people. And maybe some people dont have official OCD but they just cant stand to have things out of place or everything must be done a right way. If there book doesn't line up with their desk it becomes an obsession to fix and make sure it doesn't happen again. The format will be more of a diary type thing. A day in the life of an OCD girl. Go through her day with all her weird quirks and how her surroundings impact her. It will either be a full day or up til lunch depending on how detailed it is.

over population

The Blood's and crips will be two things that will single handily make over population a thing of the past. I find that if everybody in this world were to join one of these two street gangs our world would be perfect. With the world picking one of the two sides there would always be fire fights taking the streets with numerous dead bodies acquiring. If everybody in this world started to deal drugs and illegal fire arms our enemies would be made very fast! If one person on the crips did something to humiliate the bloods then the bloods would get everybody in there area and hire a hit on the crips. If this were to happen I am sure Tellurides main street would look like a giant block of red swiss cheese. There for all that red would be the word overpopulation being washed away. Having this happen i know one thing that would go through a lot of peoples head, survival of the fittest. The people who are weak and cant fend for there selfs will become the targets and end up dyeing. I figure that if this was to happen that we could lose a billion people in just over a year.

Mitch's discussion of satire

Hello children. I was thinking about writing a satire on how stupid the whole skiing vs snowboarding arguments are. I thought I would write a conversation between a skier and a snowboarder. They would be arguing about which one is better. I am going to make them both seem like idiots to show how the whole argument is ridiculous. What do you think?

Matt Mitchell bows up half of Colorado.

I wanted to write my satirical essay on my fathers funny obsession with blowing up various objects. It will be a newspaper article describing the mischief my dad has been up too. Starting off with small things, like coffee mugs, then explaining and telling stories about how the objects become bigger and bigger, until eventually he blows up half of Colorado. It should be pretty funny, and I would really like some ideas for objects he would, and could blow up. There will be funny lines like "Oh, there goes Ajax. Matt must be out playing." I also will explain how the explosives start of using tannerite then eventually turns into TNT and such, because per object the "BOOM!" just wasn't good enough.

Top 40

I'm thinking... Popular music. The majority of the music that tops the charts is soooooooooo... wrong. Lets get wasted and have sex and get more wasted! I think that i might attempt to write a song..? or maybe a music review! yeah a rolling stone-esque music review completely bashing todays completely arrogant sexual vapid chart toppers. of course there are the exceptions but even those exceptional songs get overplayed until all of the emotion gets completely vaporized. Should be pretty good:)

Satire Idearrr

I will be satirizing facebook. To do this, I will either make a fake facebook page with pictures of people in front of mirrors (trying to look as good as they can) and statuses that have been updated way too many times in a day with words like "your" used incorrectly, or I will write about a typical facebook visit- one that was intended to last only a few minutes, but ends up being two hours because you needed a new profile picture, and needed to respond to every single notification, and have an hour and a half chat session consisting of 4 worded sentences at most with a person you barely know but added them on facebook and you want to get to know them better. It will comment on the lack of confidence people have and are afraid to have ugly pictures of themselves on their profiles, how people just resort to technology for communication these days, and how lazy people have become with spelling and grammar. A little shaky right now, but hopefully it works out.

my wonderful idea

This is what similar to what I am going to do except with the Broncos and the Steelers. Its a "Key to the Game" thing from ESPN. And I'm going to rip on Tebow and the Steelers QB who apparently rapped someone. Any other ideas of teams to do?

Medical Marijuana

For my satirical paper, I am going to comment on the whole Medical Marijuana industry. I am going to write in the format of a blog. Specifically, the blog will belong to the local dispensary Alpine Dank. Each entry on the blog will be from a different character, similar to our AP Language blog. I have already written a few satirical posts, which I will briefly describe, but I am open to many more suggestions.
The first is from a parent, but this parent is completely for her child’s use of medical marijuana. Her son sprained his ankle in a soccer game and because of his frequent use of marijuana, he has not gotten off the couch. Therefore, the mother is praising Alpine Dank for helping her son’s ankle heal. Another post is from a student who is completely in love with marijuana induced candies. He talks about sucking on the candies during class and offering them to his peers who are not aware of their potency. That comments on the ridiculousness of some teenagers’ obsession with pot and the industry’s cleverness to invent new ways to get high. The third entry I wrote concerns a teen girl. She is extremely active, plays many sports, gets perfect grades, and always does everything on time. But her one problem is that she cannot sleep. So, a friend suggests medical marijuana to cure her insomnia and the girl goes for it. Within a few weeks, the girl could not be more satisfied; it has cured her problem. Except now, all the girl does is sleep and sleep and sleep and is no longer the active and timely person she used to be, but she does not care about any of that anymore. The last post is about a super skinny girl who has been raising concerns due to her eating habits. Both her friends and her mother are in on a plot to help the skinny girl gain weight, but they do not want to offend her. So, the mother starts buying pot infused butter, soda, and other foods which the girl will consume without knowing. The weed in her system will make her hungry and therefore eat more without being overly aware.
So basically I’m just trying to talk about the absurdity of the loose restrictions for medical marijuana through the eyes of patients. If you guys have any comments or suggestions on the four posts I’ve already written I’d love to hear them and maybe add more. Also if you have any new subjects that you think would be funny don’t be afraid to say so.

High Fashion

I have already written my blog.  In it, I dissected the flaws of high fashion.  The "author" of this "newspaper" is trying to convince their audience that high fashion is practical and affordable, when all of the sudden they find themselves completely off track and listing accidents caused by high fashion and the people involved.  I want it to convince people that they are wasting their money on something they could otherwise get for a reasonable price.  And that, in addition, high fashion can just be dangerous.  Just look at the shoes when you go into a high end department store!  They are freaking insane.  One can only imagine all the problems that would be caused by those suckers: feet problems, leg problems, back problems.  I know, myself, how painful high heels are and try to subject myself to the pain as rarely as possible.  After taking high heels off after wearing them for an hour of two, your feet ache, you feel crippled, you want to lie down and have someone treat you to a foot massage.  But I must say, they are cute, and maybe that's the problem.  We're a society that's so obsessed with having expensive, designer crap, and I can blame myself along with everyone else.  I love high fashion and when I was writing this satire I was having fun making a joke of myself right along with all the other women who agree with me. 

Deep down, we know high fashion is a waste of money and that all those designer shoes are just an accident waiting to happen and I wanted to bring that idea forth and elaborate on our socities' obsession.  So here's a sneak peek: The other day, a designer by the name of Sergio Ashburn, released his much anticipated clothing line: Waterscape.  Women flocked to his new store in New York.  In fact, this clothing release was so popular that out of these 500 select housewives who were invited to the store’s opening, 15 were reported to have sustained minor injuries in the rush to get through the door.  Authorities say these injuries were caused by, “fake nails, porcelain veneers, and the use of force to rip fake eyelashes off of sensitive eye tissue leading to possible scars and loss of collagen in the area.” 

Satire Idea

OK so i'm now satirizing the 1% vs 99% issue thats been going on lately with Occupy Wall Street. I'm doing it in the format of a news article, so here a headline for you:

RICH 1% OF POPULATION FLEE TO ELABORATE FALLOUT SHELTERS TO AVOID IMPENDING DESTRUCTION OF EARTH. REST OF HUMANITY LEFT TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES.

Satire

For my satire I am going to write a hip-hop song on mainstream rappers. I never liked how mainstream rappers portray themselves in songs. I think real hip-hop artists are those that don't write songs just to gain publicity or fame, but rather because it's what they like to do. Cheesy rappers like Woka Flocka Flame are destroying hip-hop and need to be stopped!

Satire Essay

For my satirical essay i was going to write about how altitude enhances human intelligence. Ill start off with stories about going up the gondola to high elevations and tourists start to ask there intelligent questions about " at what elevation do deer turn into elk?" and "Where do you store the moguls in the summer?" are just a few of the many stories that show how elevation makes you intelligent. Another example i was going to use is during science class people asking if you can really light water on fire, if banana's have calcium because they are white. All of these things prove that you are more intelligent in higher elevation. Studies have found that the higher in elevation you are the less air there is. This means that there isn't a lot of air resistance for those intelligent thoughts to go from your brain to your mouth! Your body functions better with less oxygen! If anyone has anymore stories about how this is true, post them!

Face to Face/Social Networking

I am thinking about doing my satire paper on face to face communication or social networking. I am not quite sure where to start. Any ideas? I may do a Facebook wall type of thing. I definitely am going to satirize how important people think their pages are and how committed they are to get "followers." I think it is funny when people thank their followers for liking their photo. Is it really that big of a confidence booster? Social networking has taken over our lives and it completely distracts us from reality. On Instagram, you want your picture to be on the "Popular Page." If it isn't, you might think you aren't attractive enough or have bad editing skills. I am probably going to format a satirical Facebook page and hopefully I can figure out how to do that.

Every generation has its own fad. We grew up in the Cool 90s and now what are we in? The Reality Show 2000s? Our lives are surrounded by the influence of the mass media. Not the news, but Jersey Shore, Kendra, the Kardashians, and every other reality show. What we wear, what we say, who we like and even what we want to smell like all comes from these so called role models. More people know about Kim Kardashians three episode fiance/husband or Justin Bieber's maybe baby mama than about the European debt crisis or the GOP candidates. Our generation needs to be more aware about what is actually happening in the world that could effect their lives than about their future husband Justin Bieber, who they will probably never meet.

Roger writing about football?

So I was thinking for a good satirical piece I could write about another college coach getting into a recruiting violation... The coach sends an email to a future recruit but accidentally includes the NCAA commisioner. In the Email they express how they will have the pillow stuffed with money, something along those lines. Another thing Mr. Lavender suggested was a satircal halftime coaches speech. Maybe a culmination of all the greatest speeches with just a few twists. Then possibly go on to use alot of jokes that you would have to know football in order to get the joke. Example: Billy our trusted quarterback of the last couple years, yes you've thrown 7 interceptions but it obviously isn't your fault. The Line has been unable to fend off the deffensive pressure. Something dumb like that. The first one would obviously be in email form, much like the satirical piece we read in class. And the second one would be in just a speach that was logged and writen down on paper.

Racism Solution

I believe that a good solution to racism in modern society is to paint yourself a random color every week. Therefore there is no more racism as everyone is an ever changing color, and no grudges can be kept for a long period of time. I can't think of a good way to write this effectively. I was thinking maybe a federal letter establishing color parlors, and telling of laws established to make everyone visit a parlor once a week at the same time. Wont go into detail about the color parlors.

Or maybe a newspaper article about this plan and its en-action in the future, using a scientist to back some claims up. Other ideas would be much appreciated.

Racism Solution

I believe that a good solution to racism in modern society is to paint yourself a random color every week. Therefore there is no more racism as everyone is an ever changing color, and no grudges can be kept for a long period of time. I can't think of a good way to write this effectively. I was thinking maybe a federal letter establishing color parlors, and telling of laws established to make everyone visit a parlor once a week at the same time. Wont go into detail about the color parlors.

Or maybe a newspaper article about this plan and its en-action in the future, using a scientist to back some claims up. Other ideas would be much appreciated.

Hardcore Gamers

I'm going to be satirizing how serious people take video games, which I will do by writing a dialogue between several computer game addicts that supposedly takes place within the confines of the game's chat log. I'll comment on the hardcore attitude some people take on video games and how pointless it is to take them quite that seriously. The way that some people religiously play games such as Call of Duty and World of Warcraft will be my main focus, the 72 hour gaming sessions without sleep and the energy drink binge drinking, not casual video game playing or the video games themselves. What do you guys think is the most ridiculous thing hardcore gamers do?

Satire Idea

So I think for my satire I'm gonna write about texting and the whole spelling dilemma. Between t9 on regular phones and the spell check on smart phones, you either don't need to know how to spell, or you understand what other people are saying when they write ahdfhhfa. I know I've made all kind of mistakes when texting...like one time Emy, Carla, and me were trying to make plans for something and I texted Emy, "yeah, carla has aids" instead of "yeah, carla has cheer", because aids and cheer can switch with each other quite easily on t9. That is how rumors get started. And everyone knows when their screen says "duck" or "ducking", they are actually dropping the f bomb. So basically I think my paper is going to be a texting conversation between me and a friend, where nothing actually makes sense, but if you're a fellow texter you will understand.

Davis is about to release the truth behind twitter users

I, through hours of thought, have come up with the idea to satirize twitter, which is already very satirical in itself. Twitter ties into basically everything in today's world, and it make me want to stuff a baby into one of those pneumatic t-shirt cannons (you know, the ones that launch t-shirts to the upper deck of Major league baseball stadiums) and send that sucker to Utah. I hope to cover ever ridiculous edge to twitter and the people that are completely contained in their fake, online, celebrity persona that captures the true stupidity of their actually uneventful lives.

Wolf Gang.

Mary Jauna Burger and Fries

This is one paragraph of my satire.... its virtually about drug abuse and the why people must have drugs in order to be content. I will either present it as a boring piece of paper, create virtual med cards and on the back instead of laws and regulations have each paragraph, or several munchies food bags along with it and post ingredients on the back from a new print out that says ingredients and health concerns (or non-concerns)

However I also started a satire on girls who either lack confidence in themselves or find attention through sexual desire. this may be a little too mean.. but could be represented in a burn book like in mean girls..

(sorry my topics are dergatory take no offense they are just opinions)

Food tastes better, smells better and is consumed with more joy. So why don’t people all smoke a bowl before Thanksgiving dinner? That is a hard question to answer, maybe simply because people would rather spend a meal time feeling heart-warmed by their family members verses internally debating about weather the fly on the wall will reincarnate into a lion in the next twenty four hours since flies only live for twenty four hours on average. Some intellectual capacity is actually needed and most times appreciated at meal times. Munchies, the mental barrier to how wonderful food intensifies savory flavors and is the high at the mental state adds to the vibrancy of a total wicked experience. Mary Jane feeds off of any food and will constantly be shouting in your head, “Mary Jauna Burger and Fries, a pizza and twelve milkshakes.”

Satire- Fast Food

I was thinking of satirizing the fast food industry.

I would poke fun at the nutrition factor. And when you drive through a city and see a Micky D's there dive-thru line goes thru the parking lot so soon the cars have to go down a block to another. When you drive down a main street there are at least three fast food restaurants on each block. It seems as if everything unhealthy for you is extremely convenient, and tasty. And its all because everything is fried in a boat load of grease.
I could talk about how since the economy is tanking that is the only food they can afford.
Or about how fast food is good for you because it keeps you from looking so skinny and unhealthy. And maybe one day being chunky will be the new skinny.

Maybe I could tell a story of some ignorant white person who is out in the Sahara looking for some fast food. He sees some starved Africans with balloted bellies and asks where he can find a Burger King.

I could either write it as a menu, and ad, or something else.

What are your thoughts?

Women, Men, and Telluride

I see a lot of stereotypes living in telluride. One big one is that all the boys are lazy, pot smoking losers. This is only half true. And the half that live up to the stereotype are dumb and have no life. However, there are many boys in this town who are hidden behind the boys who do bad things. Its sad to see how one big stereotype can over rule. Another stereotype for women in this town is that we arnt as good at sports or as strong as the boys. Well the truth is I see half the amount of boys then girls in the weight room. A lot of them would much rather smoke then get strong and be fit.

There are stereotypes not just on men and women individually but as a whole gender stereotype in Telluride. One big stereotype that many people put with "people in Telluride" is that we are either pot smoking, no shower taking hippies or Rich snobby, designer wearing people. One time when we were playing basketball in Dove Creek, my step dad got in a fight with a DC dad. He was cussing and saying that we were "tree huggers". Im tired of stereotypes, why dont people just live there life and not worry about how other people are living theres. Stereotypes have been alive since the beginning of man. This is something that shouldnt carry on into the future but probably will.

Blogs are for loosurs

The other day I woke up and went out to judge and subjugate women. I didn’t brush my teeth or take a showur or wash my face. Even in France I would have been considered smelly. I put on some ratty old clothes over my well-used underwear that hadn’t been changed for quite a while. I did take the effert to turn them inside out, so that got at least another week of use out of them. I decided to go to school, but showed up an hour late cause being on time is for loosurs.

In my first class, I sat down and stretched my body out of the chair to take up as much room as possible. I didn’t do my homework because I was way too busy playing Xbox the night before; doing homework is for losers.

The rest of the day I slacked off and thought about what I was going to do after school that day. It was a Friday, so my friends and I were planning to get down that night. Whenever the teacher asked me a question, I shrugged and let some nerd answer it. Paying attention in class is for losers.

After school I went and met up with my bro’s. It was a crazy night, we got toatally wasted and it was awesome. We do this every Friday, but it never gets old. Sometimes some loser confronts me and I tell them that doing well in school is for losers. I can always copy off somebody anyway, and if I ever need to write a paper I can just bullsh*t it and use spll check. Spelling rite is for losers anywy.

Weirdley, nobody ever really brought up my situation before as being a typical slacker mail before some square English teacher told us to write a blog about it. But blogging is for losers

WoMEN

Females, women, whatever you would like to call them, have always been dominated by men. Their fragile bodies were unfit for working in the fields, tasks only the strong, muscular men could perform. Yes, hundreds of years ago this might have been the case, but times have changed. Women can do the same tasks as men, yet, they are still viewed as weak and incompetent creatures. There is a much larger percent of women working at a desk compared to men. Both are equally qualified, but it still seems that women are better at their dainty jobs. When it comes to children, women have always been the ones to take care of them, while their husbands bring home the bacon. Did it ever occur to the man that maybe his wife doesn’t want to be stuck at home with their four crying children? Each parent should take equal care of the child that they both created together, not leaving the dainty job for the woman simply because its tradition. Women are known to be bad drivers. Although this remains true for certain individuals who actually are a safety hazard, there is almost an equal ratio of men who are also bad drivers. Even the simple words that describe someone’s gender set women lesser to men. Man, male, and men are all found in forms of a womans, or Females gender. A person’s gender does not define who they are or who they will become, and it should not. Cultures around the world have made this decision for every single person, and simply because they were born a girl or a boy. Let that individual decide for themselves whether they want to work with heavy machinery or design clothes for a living.

Mitch's discussion of gender stereotypes

I definitely believe that although there are still gender stereotypes today, they are much less a part of everyday life than they used to be. Some of the male stereotypes that exist are that all guys like video games. That definitely comes from the fact that the games have a much larger male audience than female one. I do like games, and I don’t feel like this stereotype really limits or anything like that, so it’s not too bad like other ones could be. There is definitely also the male stoner-slacker stereotype. I guess this is grounded in some reality, I mean, there are definitely stoner-slacker guys out there, but not all of us are. I’m not a stoner or a slacker. The origin of the stereotype though might also be the decreasing motivation. I don’t know, it probably has to do with the stuff mentioned in the article about how females are taking over. Anyway though, I don’t necessarily think it is bad if someone naturally falls into a stereotype, like, for example if a woman is actually a bad driver. But if, however, the stereotype is what determines what a person is, then it is bad, but just fitting into one isn’t the end of the world.

I guess the only thing that I should complain about is that the music choice of the girls in this classroom isn’t exactly my favorite. Pick something else. That would be my stereotype: the people in my grade don’t exactly like the best music, but the guys aren’t much better. Not exactly a gender stereotype, but still, something to mention nonetheless.